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WHAT’S NEW!!! We are UNCONTROLLABLY EXCITED!!!!!1!!!!!!

WHAT’S NEW!!! We are UNCONTROLLABLY EXCITED!!!!!1!!!!!!

by Jessica Jones

Okay folks, we’ve been keeping a lot of these ideas under wraps until they were ready to be unveiled, but we are just TOO EXCITED. WE JUST CAN’T HIDE IT. So here’s a little sneak peek of some of the new BLEEDING EDGE CONCEPTS we’ll be working on in the near future!

New Communication Options! Email Too Cumbersome? TRY A PIGEON

memeHas your inbox ever frustrated you? You reply to an email and then five minutes later the person REPLIES BACK and you have to email them AGAIN. IT. NEVER. ENDS. Here at Slamdot, we feel your pain, and we think we have the perfect solution. Beta test one of our highly-trained carrier pigeons today! Responses guaranteed to never arrive in less than an hour, even if the recipient is just down the hall!

Is Your Web Design Responsive? How Would It Look On A JUMBOTRON?

It seems like all anyone talks about anymore is how their site looks on a mobile device. Sure, your site might look good on a smaller screen, but let’s think outside the box for a moment and ask how your site would look if it were broadcast over a sports stadium. These are things you need to consider, people.

Mailing Lists Not Getting A High Enough Conversion Rate? SEMAPHORES. They’re What’s Happening.

Sure, your MailChimp list reaches a lot of people, but how many more people might you reach if one of our friendly and highly weather-resistant staff were to stand on top of a mountain and wave flags around to spell out your business’s name? John Peters – you know, the farmer? – doesn’t even own a computer, but he’d sure as heck notice Daniel up there waving flags around and frightening the horses.

It’s A Phone … It’s A Tablet … It’s A Laptop … It’s A Desktop … It’s A Bird … It’s A Plane … It’s A … SmarTabletop!

If you’re anything like us, you’ve got a desktop computer, you’ve got a laptop computer, you’ve got a smartphone, you’ve got a tablet, you’ve got a dining room table. WHY DO WE HAVE ALL THESE THINGS? With the new Slamdot SmarTabletop, you can combine them all into one! Weighing in at only 65 pounds, this only-slightly-boxy briefcase will provide you with all of the convenience of your favorite Android and iOS apps AND all of the necessary desktop software AND you can make phone calls on it (now with slightly less of an annoying ringing sound!) AND you can set it up in the park when it’s time to eat your sammitch. Aaaaaawwww yissss.

Google Schmoogle. We’ll Put Your Name In The Cloud – LITERALLY

Getting to the top of Google is so 2013. Why not stand apart from the crowd? Or better yet – FLY OVER THEM. With a (mostly …) trained Slamdot pilot at the helm, our aircrafts will trail your banner over – and sometimes directly into! – your target audience! As Slamdot Air Captain Quinton says, “The internet is old news. It’s time to upgrade to farther reaching technologies rather than relying on a series of tubes.” Sure, your SEO may be great, but don’t minimize the importance of your APO (Air Presence Optimization)!

Untapped Markets Beware … Antarctica Here We Come!!!!

Lastly, folks, we’re bundling up and packing up (or at least one of us is … we haven’t drawn straws yet) and heading for uncharted territory. We’re pretty certain that there aren’t a lot of options for Friendly Neighborhood Web Designers in Antarctica, and why should that market suffer? Need a site to promote your ice fishing business? Need volunteers for your project to knit sweaters for baby seals? The Slamdot South Pole office will be there to help!

We hope you’re as excited as we are!!! If you want to know more about our dubious flight training or our other ideas for furniture/device hybrids (or, you know, about web design, we do that too you know) please contact us today! Most of us will still be on this continent to answer your message!